Villains in Addams Family movies go to really unnecessary lengths to defraud them of the family fortune. These people just give it away on whims all the time. If I just walked into the house and started wearing their clothes and spending their money, they wold start introducing me as Cousin Intruder and forget there was ever a time I didn’t live with them.
Gomez in particular would enjoy your boldness, Cousin Intruder.
Oh shit.
The Addams family loves and greets every person entering one of their homes.
The Addams family adopted or married every person wishing to stay.
This is why the Addams family is full of freaks.
Of course.
So what we’re saying is, tracing the Addams’ geneology is damn near impossible and it’s just as likely that no living member of the family is actually a blood relative of the people who originally held the family name?
What I’m hearing is that Batman is actually an Addams.
He most certainly is
I mean, considering if you look at it in the light of a different story, the near (actual, factual) homicidal level of bond and love the Addams have for each other, the idea that they’re all adopted, the way that Bruce is often portrayed as a bit of an aloof, smarmy smarm in private, the possibility that young Bruce might not be wholly appreciative of his extended family’s eccentricities, of which his parents are the mildest of the bunch, the idea that those two parents are (distantly) Addams’ and get gunned down, well.
[Gomez]: I came, I came as soon as I heard
[Bruce]: I…I told you never to come back, I said, I said you were weird
[Gomez]: Please, my boy, to compliment me when you are so wracked with grief. *clutching hug* Dear Thomas, dear Martha, so full of life…
[Bruce]: *extricating* They….they fell in front of me…while he laughed…with mother’s pearls…
[Gomez]: The fiend! This dishonor cannot stand!
[Bruce]: And I felt….I felt it well up inside me, a black blood welling up…
[Gomez]: Yes, dear boy…
[Bruce]: I….will be vengeance….
[Gomez]: Yes….
[Bruce]: I…I will be the night!
[Gomez]: Yes!
[Bruce]: I….I am an Addams!
[Gomez]: YES!
[Bruce]: I. AM. BATMAN. *lightning, thunder*
[Gomez]: YES, YES!!! My boy, the rivers will run red with wonderful blood!
[Alfred]: *sigh* I’ll put the tea on and grab the foils then, shall I, sirs?
there should be a tax that youtubers pay where 1.5% of all of their revenue goes back to Kevin Macleod for basically supplying YouTube with it’s own soundtrack.
who is this man and what music did he make???
if you hear a royalty free song on youtube, there’s approximately an 80% chance Kevin Macleod wrote it.
here’s some you’ve almost definitely heard:
for those wondering, yes, he also made THE generic royalty free song that was EVERYWHERE in 2014.
a girl i know told me how a guy she knows once moved out from his parents, ate nothing but fries and meatballs for HALF A YEAR, and got scurvy. imagine the doctor’s face when this guy shows up with like his gums bleeding and the doc has to fucking say DUDE…. THATS SCURVY…. in this day and age
this is turning into a “how a person i know got scurvy” thread and im so here for this, please share your scurvy stories if you have any
the other day someone posted pics from the reddit page r/zerocarbs where these fools only ate meat and 0 vegetables or fruits and all the posts were about various symptoms of scurvy. i died when one literally read ‘i don’t want to start the vitamin C debate again but’
THE VITAMIN C DEBATE
My mother told me all about scurvy when I was five and trying to resist eating pumpkin and let me tell you it’s been 35 years and I still get nervous if I go for two days without eating a green vegetable.
I told my own little picky eater about scurvy, rickets etc and now one of her most frequently requested lunch items is baby spinach, closely followed by carrots.
I’m not saying everyone should mildly traumatize their children to make them understand that vegetables are vital to ongoing possession of your teeth and organs, but.. no, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Go for it.
some guys i used to know went on a boys only road trip. they decided they were only going to eat things they could cook on the engine block of the car.
two of them got scurvy. one of them drank so much jagermeister + red bull that he temporarily lost the ability to see in colour.
So as a division officer to nearly 60 sailors over 3 years. I asked every single one. “What made you join the Navy?” Here is the breakdown. 80% - To pay for college 10% - To get out of a bad family situation 5% - Family Tradition 5% - Because of 9/11.
“Would poor people literally risk their lives to win access to things that the rich take for granted if that weren’t set up as the only way to get them?”
regardless of the fact that i used to enjoy and laugh at edgy tv shows like tosh.o and “adult animation” type shows like family guy and south park, i now absolutely loathe them because i associate them so strongly with my abusive father who adored shows like that, and would play them around us all the time -even when the youngest of us was still in elementary school. he would make fun of me the way family guy characters made fun of Meg (one time that comes to mind is when he told me i should consider throwing up more so i would be prettier. he was “joking” of course.) and once me and my sister began to argue with him about trans stuff and/or come out and experiment with gender expression, he would play that goddamn episode of south park where they compare being trans to wanting be a dolphin over and over. he would laugh hysterically loud at trans/homophobic jokes and make fun of us if we told him it bothered us, or if we left the room because of it. when i started wearing lipstick he would quote jokes from tosh.o and say i looked like a whore. he would make fun of us for stimming and call us “autistic” as an insult and call us weak and “brainwashed” for taking the medications prescribed to us by doctors to treat bipolar disorder, depression, and anxiety, treating those shows’ episodes that portrayed psych meds as a scam for weak willed people the same way.
he’s the type who considers himself a particularly smart guy, thinks he’s immune to advertising and propaganda. so naturally, he regurgitates south park’s dumbass radical centrist talking points, and all of these shows’ “everyone who gets upset is just a triggered loser” attitudes, at us when we tried to stand up for ourselves.
none of these shows “made” my father act like that, but they gave him cultural permission to be a bombastic, narcissistic tool. they made him feel like the world was on his side. they made us feel like the world was on his side. these shows foster a fanbase that believe they have the right to cause any kind of hurt, even real psychological damage, to those around them that they want, provided they can claim it’s all a big joke. they give their fans an eternal justification to dismiss any and all criticism: people are just too damn sensitive. assuming this post gets any attention at all, there’s gonna be people in the notes telling me i’m “triggered by cartoons” and adding fuckin’ south park gifs in childish, inept attempts to upset and mock me for having the audacity to be honest about how something that should be harmless, was not. (and incidentally, not a single one of these ‘jokes’ will actually be funny to anyone with a sense of humor that goes beyond “”ironic”” sadism.)
i dont care if you personally like these shows; sometimes, i can still enjoy watching them myself. just don’t tell me it’s more important that adult, affluent creators of content like that getting to never be criticized for what they put into the world, is more important than the tangible, negative effect it has on people.
This is a place of complete and utter chaos. It contains a few every day sketches and sketched answers (since no one ever asks me anything)- with reblogs, LOTS OF REBLOGS you have been warned. vov
